Everyone in the bank, including the manager and tellers, ran to the door when the alarm rang.
Here's why:
* Capitalization: "Bank" should be capitalized because it's a proper noun.
* Punctuation: A comma is needed after "bank" to separate the introductory phrase from the main clause. Commas are also needed to set off the parenthetical phrase "including the manager and tellers".
* Article: You need the definite article "the" before "door" to refer to a specific door in the bank.
* Subject-verb agreement: "Everyone" is singular, so the verb "ran" is correct.
* Clarity: This version makes it clear that everyone, including the manager and tellers, ran to the door.