Central Argument:
Gardiner argues that the act of saying "please" is far more than just a polite formality. It represents a fundamental shift in how we approach others, transforming a demand into a request and acknowledging the other person's autonomy and freedom of choice.
Key Points:
* "Please" signifies respect: By saying "please," we recognize the other person's right to refuse our request. It shows that we value their agency and aren't treating them as mere objects to be manipulated.
* "Please" fosters cooperation: It creates a sense of mutual understanding and encourages a collaborative atmosphere rather than a domineering one.
* "Please" softens the blow of refusal: When someone says "no" after being asked politely, the refusal is less likely to cause offense or hurt feelings.
* "Please" is more than just words: It embodies a genuine attitude of consideration and humility. It's about acknowledging the importance of the other person and their perspective.
Example:
Gardiner highlights the difference between saying "Give me that book" versus "Please give me that book." The first is a demand, while the second is a request, demonstrating respect and consideration.
Conclusion:
The essay emphasizes the importance of "please" as a fundamental element of civil society and ethical interaction. It advocates for a more mindful and respectful approach to communication, where we recognize the value of others and the power of genuine courtesy.