For desperation:
* Desperate: This is the most direct and simple option.
* Pitiful: Emphasizes the sense of sadness or lack of merit.
* Pathetic: Similar to "pitiful," but with an added element of disgust.
* Last-ditch: This highlights the desperate nature of the argument, suggesting it's a final, weak effort.
For bottom-of-the-barrel quality:
* Trite: Indicates overused and unoriginal ideas.
* Banal: Similar to "trite," but with a stronger emphasis on being dull and lacking in substance.
* Cheap: Implies the ideas are low-quality and not worth the effort.
* Weak: Straightforwardly describes the argument's lack of strength and persuasiveness.
For a combination:
* Lame: Conveys both desperation and low quality.
* Flimsy: Suggests a lack of strength and evidence.
* Straw-grasping: Highlights the desperation to cling to any argument, no matter how weak.
* Desperate gambit: Emphasizes both the desperation and the strategic nature of the argument.
The best choice will depend on the specific context and the tone you wish to convey.