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What kinds of problems should be corrected in a paragraph during local revision?

During local revision, you focus on individual sentences and paragraphs to ensure they are clear, concise, and effective. Here are the kinds of problems to look for:

Sentence Level:

* Sentence Structure:

* Fragments: Incomplete sentences lacking a subject or verb.

* Run-on Sentences: Two or more complete sentences joined incorrectly, often without punctuation.

* Comma Splices: Two independent clauses joined only by a comma (incorrect).

* Clarity:

* Vague language: Words like "stuff" or "things" instead of specific terms.

* Unclear pronoun references: It's unclear who or what a pronoun refers to.

* Wordiness: Using more words than necessary.

* Misplaced or dangling modifiers: Phrases that modify the wrong part of the sentence.

* Consistency:

* Tense shifts: Switching between past, present, and future tenses unnecessarily.

* Subject-verb agreement: The verb must agree with the subject in number (singular/plural).

* Style:

* Awkward phrasing: Sentences that are difficult to read or understand.

* Clichés and jargon: Overused phrases or technical terms that are unnecessary.

* Mechanics:

* Punctuation errors: Incorrect use of commas, periods, semicolons, etc.

* Spelling errors: Misspelled words.

* Capitalization errors: Incorrect capitalization of words at the beginning of sentences or proper nouns.

Paragraph Level:

* Unity: All sentences should relate to the main idea of the paragraph.

* Coherence: Sentences should flow logically and smoothly.

* Development: The paragraph should provide enough support and evidence for the main idea.

* Transitions: Words or phrases should connect sentences and paragraphs.

* Emphasis: The most important information should be highlighted.

Examples of Problems to Correct:

* Sentence Fragment: "Running to the store." (Should be "He was running to the store.")

* Run-on Sentence: "The dog barked loudly, the cat hissed back." (Should be "The dog barked loudly; the cat hissed back.")

* Vague Language: "She was sad about the bad stuff." (Should be "She was sad about the recent layoffs.")

* Misplaced Modifier: "I saw a dog walking down the street with a red collar." (Should be "I saw a dog with a red collar walking down the street.")

* Lack of Unity: A paragraph about the history of the internet suddenly mentions the benefits of social media.

* Lack of Coherence: Sentences jump around in time or topic without logical connections.

Remember: Local revision is an ongoing process. You'll likely need to revise several times to get your writing to a polished state.

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