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What are some great Word Play Puns and Oxymorons?

Word Play Puns:

Food & Drink:

* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

* I just got fired from my job at the bank. Apparently, I wasn't good with numbers.

* I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

* I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

* I'm reading a book about puns. I couldn't put it down!

General:

* I'm feeling a bit under the weather. It's raining cats and dogs, and I think I'm getting a cold.

* I'm not sure what to do with my life. I'm at a cross roads.

* I'm not a morning person. I'm more of a night owl.

* I'm not a fan of heights. I prefer the ground.

* I'm not a hoarder. I just have a lot of stuff.

Funny & Silly:

* I got lost in the woods yesterday. It was the most challenging forest I've ever been in.

* I'm not sure what's wrong with my car. It keeps telling me to "check engine."

* I'm not sure if I should get a new haircut. My current one is so boring it's almost exciting.

* I'm trying to find a job where I don't have to think. I'm hoping to become a professional daydreamer.

* I'm trying to cut back on my caffeine intake, but it's a tough habit to break.

Oxymorons:

* Living Dead

* Pretty Ugly

* Military Intelligence

* Clearly Confused

* Deafening Silence

* Open Secret

* Same Difference

* Original Copy

* Awfully Good

* Bitter Sweet

Bonus:

* Jumbo Shrimp (This is a classic oxymoron that plays on the misconception that shrimp are small)

These are just a few examples, and the possibilities for puns and oxymorons are endless!

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